Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Not-so-Jazzy nicknames . . . part deux

I really wanted to get at this sooner, as the first part was posted all the way back to August 4th, 2008. However, I'm glad that I waited for the season to start before I proposed these names -- it's better now that we've actually seen the guys play a bit. There are 15 guys on the roster, and in the first batch I did 5, so I should do the same for this batch, and leave 5 for a third article. (Math, it's cumulative -- like these nickname articles!) Just as a recap for Deron I had "The Dominator" (sorry Hasek); I couldn't think of anything more apt than AK-47; and Booz will be Booz forever, even though it's not that clever. Furthermore, in my rant against 'name based nicknames' I felt like Memo should actually deserve a nickname -- and came up with The Janissary. Read the first article if you don't get it, or read a history book. Brewer is left wanting for a better nickname though . . .

Today let's go over some of the newer Jazz players: Brevin Knight, Kosta Koufos, Morris Almond, Kyrylo Fesenko and Ronnie Price.

Brevin Knight

Kosta Koufos

Kyrylo Fesenko

Morris Almond

Ronnie Price

Brevin can handle all types of situations

He stands tall like a Greek Statue

Planet of the Apes

Almond only passes the ball to the rim

Price is wild

Knight Rider

The Kolossus

The Violent Apelord

Mobe

Point Break

Some obvious alternatives would be "The Dark Knight" or the political "Breverend Knight", a play on Reverend Wright -- that's too racy for Utah though, so it wont stick.

The Ice Man, My big fat Greek draft pick, Ko-Ko, Souvlaki -- I can't really get a good Greek thing except for the one you see above.

"Fes", "Fess", "K-Fes", anything that references his name somehow, that's the key to nicknames -- because we know that Karl Malone's name obviously leads one to the word "mailman".

Mo-Al, Almond Joy, other dumb shit like that

"Ronnie P", "The Price is Right" is more of a slogan, than a nickname. His boyhood idol was none other than Utah Jazz great Pistol Pete.

Most players so far are calling him Brev' which is fine, but I think the Knight Rider is cool, because he's calm and collected, and for long stretches you can ride with him as your PG -- as the Jazz did winning their first 5 games of the season without Deron Williams suiting up.

I like the Ice Man, not in a paleolithic point of view, or a guy who sells ice, but a guy who is cool, calm and not rattled by anything. His interview skills indicate much about his personality that would fit the name Ice Man -- a confident skilled individual. That's fine and good, but I want a huge, imposing structure that blocks shots (which he does well) and is a wonder -- and Greek. So yeah.

There is something distinctly simian about this guy. While Kosta is rational, logical and hard working I look at Fesenko who is more wild, physically talented (he's bigger, stronger and faster than Kosta) and still has a higher upside. If anyone can be the true Vanilla Gorilla it should be Fesenko -- especially when you look at his heritage. Also the Violent Ape Lord appears to be his Ukraine league team logo.

There's no other way than to describe his game the way his team mates Paul Millsap and Ronnie Brewer have . . . hence the name sticks.

He's a point guard who is adrenalin filled and able to break games open with his exciting plays and energy. We saw it in the playoffs against Houston and the Lakers.

Like the movie Point Break, he's had complex relationships with guys who he is directly competing with. Jason Hart was his "guardian angel" and he had to beat him out for the playing time (twice!). Right now Brevin Knight stands against him. In the movie Keanu had to work through his issues of idolatry and duty in much the same way.

What do you guys think?

4 comments:

Scrapper Blackwell said...

We still call Kirilenko "The Terror-Dactyl" (or Pterrordactyl)around these parts. Those wing like arms swooping all over the court terrorizing opponents, and it just flows off the lips better than AK47 (although AK-47 is a great one as well...I guess Quincy Lewis did do something good while a Jazzman after all..Thanks Quincy!)

Amar said...

There's a really good picture out there on the internet that shows Andrei like one: http://theblowtorch.blogspot.com/2007/09/andrei-kirilenko-mathematicsized.html

Amar said...

but you already know that, because you posted on that blog many moon ago . . .

Spencer said...

Brevan Knight should be Good knight like good.

Kosta Koufus should be KoKo or Kokomo

Fes for fesenko

Morris almond should be Moral